Dateline Deonia, Jhapa, 12 January 2008

From: the Religious Adviser
To: the HMH Mismanagement

Dear Incompetent ones:

Having made my end-of-the year official visit to the Himalayan Mixed Hash (HMH), I offer this sort of unbiased report.

1. The accounts were not worth looking into, but I was happy that the prices had not risen.

2. I noted that the last run of 2007 was ALMOST CANCELLED! Doggy Style saved the day, graciously setting an easy-going live hare run. Hurry Krishna caught him in mid-course and helped a little with paper setting. The front runners, while trying to be a little honest, kept getting ahead of Doggy, but all worked out well. Tibet Gal continued her generous service of guiding the walkers through a reasonably long course.

3. I also note that the Grand Master was not around to welcome our illustrious guests from Delhi.

4a. Although the almost-cancellation of the end-of-the-year run was a very serious over-mismanagement, the article in the October 2007 edition of ECS is even more serious. Now there is a written record that a Saturday run is about as strenuous as a Sunday School picnic! Concern over a missing mutt!? Hash mutts have always been brought along to entertain villagers' ducks. And then the article says: "One difficult climb lay ahead up 134 steps to a stupa . . ."  DIFFICULT??????????????

4b. Where was the proper welcome for a visiting journalist such as a Sherpa Mud Slide, a Yogi Hari fell runs, a Keeled Five Gorges special, mud, Bagmati crossings, leeches?  Are people supposed to LIKE hashing?

Conclusion: The only way for the mismanagement to redeem itself is to organize a Jhapa weekend hash. You could come on a bus through tarai blockades, enjoy runs through river whirlpools and nettle and snake-infested jungle sinkholes (both best in the monsoon). We can offer side trips up to 3600 meters, with super views of Kanchanjunga. We promise clean air and peaceful surroundings, except where there are other hashers around.  However we do NOT promise electricity.  DO COME!

Fox