Twenty-five runners gathered for a nice afternoon barbeque in Spare Part's junkyard. The mood was good until rumours circulated that the short walk across the lawn to the food and and drink would be replaced by a circuit of several kilometres around the locality. The three hares Spare Part, 69, and Clive, at least two of whom were virgins, announced five checks of which numbers two and four were supposed to be holds. The Fox, as usual, wasn't listening, as will be apparent below.

The pack set off down onto paddy-fields where the first two circles waited uncomfortably to be checked out. To the joy of the hares the GM and Grumblewald took a false trail. But what happened? They passed an arrow leading backwards, and a cross, but they didn't stop running!! (the path onwards was SO OBVIOUS - GM). Later Grumblewald enquired as to the meaning of an arrow pointing backwards. Maybe a good opportunity to clue-up the pack about basic rules and signs (NO! - this is going too far, I can't remember any - GM). The trail continued through fallow fields and after a dry-shoe river crossing knee-deep mud hole was as real a challenge as the trash hare's syntax. The water pump right next to the obstacle saved many hash-crash down-downs later on.

The first holding check was found, balanced precariously on the edge of a huge earth cutting with a tremendous view of . . . . . . . . an excavator shoveling earth from one heap to another (deeply affecting only the runners involved in the construction business). The choice of spot by the dam builders was not appreciated by some runners and the warning of the hares not to stand to close to the edge was barely understood. Fortunately no-one slipped into the land of JCB and the whole pack went off towards Kopan Gomba giving Hurry Krishna a big lead since he had performed The Fox's Wrong Hill maneuver enabling him to look upon the check from afar.

From the check rare and tiny castings of paper (a characteristic of today's run) led through Lasuntaar towards the Gomba hill. At check three, halfway up, two false trails went left and right, Rodent and the GM eventually climbed to find paper on the road, continued up to the Gomba, and descended beside the compound wall to the village and holding check four. The SCB's, of course, sauntered horizontally south, with not a glance at the Gomba. Check four offered a spectacular view of breathtaking landscape unfortunately blighted in the mid-distance by The Fox jumping up and down yelling on-on. Retaliatory yells from the pack eventually brought him to a stop, but the guy was on paper and everybody charged off towards him, trampling over the hares' beautiful cross in the process.

It is probably blasphemy to say that The Fox spoilt the last 20% of the run (ah . . but only for the hares! - GM). His waywardness led the pack to check five too quickly for front hare 69 so that the tricky continuation of the trail was overlooked by at least four runners. Those not fast enough to escape 69 were sent off on a brilliant loop around a hill passing an odd memorial garden, crossing a beautiful village and climbing up a hill just to go down again on the other side. After this exhilaration it was so sad to have to return to the junkyard. This artificial extension of the run enabled Spare Part and the SCB's to reach home just before the last runners came in.

(I gave up trying to sub-edit this next bit - GM) However, this loop was not honored by all of the runners. Some of them even tried to physically hurt the hares arguing that the rules forbid a circle but since there are so many hash rules that are not followed and so many in force that do not really exist, the hares could live with that. In any event it was not a circle, but a loop, and this is permitted.

The circle formed and the hares were given a less than enthusiastic down-down as their run had prevented an attack on on the food for at least an hour. Virgin Hariom, an oil-tycoon friend of Megabyte, was introduced. Several others got down-downs. The only one which the GM can remember is his own, but what it was for still eludes him.

Martina was honoured with the Hashit for last week's ballistic accuracy, which may force a hash name modification. We hear that Brewer's Drip will be at next week's event. The circle decided to think up other hash names as Christmas presents. Martina's remains up in the air; "Flying Tuborg" etc, etc. We'll be noting variations for a few weeks. It was agreed that Wendy's name "Tasty Calf" was only liked by suckers. Her enormous inflatable anorak caught the circle's eye. She pleaded that it was not an attempt to hide weight gain resulting from copious and regular consumption of hash beer and snacks. Names like "Spare Tyre" and "Michelin Woman" were muttered, but finally "Zeppelin" got the thumbs up.

A lack of concentration due the presence of Spare Part's spare didis at one end of the garden and his udder at the other caused the GM to forget about asking for a score. But the hares could not enjoy the after-run BBQ without getting a fair judgment. A quick glance by Mad Cow into his magic cap likely revealed a 8.6 score for the run, however, having a plate in his left hand, a can of beer in his right and a chicken wing in his mouth he managed to hold his cap upside-down, which meant a surprising if completely undeserved score of 9.8. (If everyone thinks that I will continue to allow the hare's serving up of great post-hash feasts in an attempt to influence The Score - they are right! - GM)

69 and Rotter