Pyataar (North of Bouddha)

The pack was sparce and the faces grim
as they waited until 3:15
for the GM's Land Rover to pull in.
Along with numerous crew,
it contained the hash brew.

Keeled Over finally called the circle to order and...

A depleted pack of about 35 Hashers, Duckbill and the two Harey Mutts gathered on a fine dry grassy field a little after 3pm on Saturday. The reason for the depleted numbers was the international day at TBS (The British School) which at least had the benefit of reducing the number of horrors. The reason for the delay was the state of the road up to the site which was, as we road engineers say, knackered. Checks numbering 7 were announced with 3, 4 and 7 holding, along with false trails all marked with an X and possible river crossings.

Things started with a short run out to check number 1, which had the pack wandering every which way for quite some time. Jalak found the trail down across the valley and up the other side to check 2 which was a back-check on a motor track. Holding check 3 was the same as holding check 3 on run 1232. It was at this point that we noticed that we lost Doma and a small female horror (forgive me for not remembering her name). None of the front runners (except Sideways) could believe that the Hares would be so obvious as to take the same trail out as on run 1232, so all directions but the right one were checked out. Holding check 4 followed a lovely run through the pines and down to a grassy knoll with super views towards Shivapuri. From here on, the pack realised why the Hares had said there were possibly river crossings. The trail ran down the river banks to check 5 and then along the river bed to check 6. Both Matt and Sideways had serious crashes on the rocky river bed.

The trail from check 6 up to check 7 has to be the shiggiest trail on record this year. It was knee deep in places and had the Harriettes, especially Bog Trotter, slipping and sliding all over the place. A fair number of Harriers came to grief as well. Bill led many astray when he missed the turn-off leading up to the check. Holding Check 7 was under a Pipal tree and there followed another lovely run through the paddy fields to the On-in site.

The pack trickled in in reasonable order, although Hillary and Emily were so busy yacking that they continued to run on past the site and were only recalled by a loud cry of "On-in". Towed was again appointed look-alike Master and called the circle to order at which point Kate decided it was time for Hash Cake to appear so the circle was deferred until Hashers were satisfied and could focus properly on the important business of the day.

The Hares were called in for the run discussion which was the usual shambles with a total of around 27 points being awarded for a variety of reasons. However, before the run discussion could be concluded, the Master had to break up other discussions from Emily and Hillary, continuing the chat that had caused them to miss the On-in site, and who, therefore, had to be duly reprimanded. Eventually, the run was given an unusual 9.9 and the Hares were able to quench their thirst.

This week's only Virgin Rob, who is here on holiday, was inducted before the only returnee (who's name escapes me), who clearly had been away too long a he had to have a second down-down for ignoring the hash protocol of removing his hat when in the circle. Four crashers - Matt, Keeled Over, Claire and Steve were followed by Trina? for carrying on her own circle discussions as usual, in clear breach of hash discipline.

Matt was recalled for scrumping (apple stealing to the uninitiated) from the kids at check 3, but in view of his professional position and the presence of young innocents, the charge of child molesting was reduced by the Master to child entertaining. The Master was then obliged to continue on this delicate subject, having noticed that Doma had been leading small girls astray in the woods. The pair were invited to partake, but before they could, Zeppelin interrupted again. She tried vainly to distract the Master by pointing out that Virgin Rob was wanking but to no avail and was forced to accept her punishment before Rob had this delicate aspect of Hash etiquette explained to him.

Then came notification of next week's run which will now be hared by Jalak and Sideways as Office Mate II, according to her co-hare Emily, had a seriously bum knee. The master decided to take a proper medical opinion on this apparent deformity from Dr. Hillary who's explanation prompted him to note never to seek her advice on a serious medical complaint.

Leaver Steve(?) and Birthday Boy Lao Lover were duly fêted. Turd Herder then accused the mutt owners of letting their mutts run out of control tripping up hashers and causing hash crashes. Lao Lover, Kate and Towed were duly chastised before Social Drinking was announced. Shortly after this the Master had to recall the circle because, like most hashit holders of late, he had forgotten the Hashit! Since the current holder, 69, had not appeared, he gets to keep it, together with an extra down-down next week for forgetting to bring both himself and the trophy this week.

Thanks to the Hares for an excellent run, to half the hares for the cake and to Mrs Rotter for the catering.