Early part of the run

A bit later

Short Hares

Virgins

Away with yer!

Mouthorgan demonstrating that Rs 50 is enough to get pissed at the HHHH. But this week only.

Unornamented Hashit

After trying to follow the instructions of the directionally (dare we say cartographically?) challenged Hares and finding a field on the left as we approached the resort, we found the pack assembling in the usual field next to the small pine plantation. Added to this, the Master had managed to forget the Hash Sheet, so all augured well for a successful hash.

At 15.10 the Master called the assembled pack to order and demanded an explanation of the run from the three Hares. With a cursory wave of his arm Bendy Toes tried to set the pack off on the trail but demands were made for a slightly more comprehensive explanation. Thomas was looking after the runners, Mapple the walkers and Bendy Toes probably wasn’t planning to do much of anything. The trail was marked with lime and eco-spray, just in case the lime washed away. The Hares claimed this was an innovative approach to run-setting demonstrating the kind of development that HHHH should be pioneering. Seven checks were announced with 2, 3, 4 and 5 holding. That was all the explanation required and the pack was led off by Duckbill, as usual.

A slightly innovative start soon saw the trail return to the usual scramble down the hill to the river and Check 1. Rotter soon found the trail leading downstream and slightly uphill, away from the river and quickly to Holding Check 2. A brief wait until Bendy Toes arrived (but not the rest of the pack) and “check it out” was called. From a wide choice of options, Run Crafty selected the right one leading up to the top of the hill on the north-east side of the gorge. The Master, led astray by Towed, managed to travel the whole way between checks 2 and 3 without seeing lime (although it later transpired that they ran within 10 metres of holding Check 4 without seeing it!). The Master had to be constantly reassured that this was all right and that the trail would be later rediscovered, but it was clearly a traumatic time for him resulting in the need to stay at the back of the pack for comfort and reassurance between checks 3 and 4. (Not so. I checked in the wrong direction from 3 and ended up running through somebody's living room to get back on paper. Luckily they were Newars so wasn't marched off to the temple for a clean-up puja. - GM)

Holding Check 3 was treated much as check 2, “check it out” being called as soon as the Hare arrived. After a false start, Towed led the way down a steep path into the gorge and Holding Check 4. There was only one way from here and it started to look as if we were heading for one of Grumblewald’s favourite three peaks but no, the trail veered off to the left and down along shit infested trails to the brick works and up to a grassy knoll on which Holding Check 5 was located. Some debate was held here as to whether it was possible to see the cars but they remained hidden by the pine trees. There were lots of options for paths from here but the correct trail was soon sussed out by Rotter, Hurry K, Run Crafty and Towed, although these four were soon led astray and it was left to 69 to find the right trail heading back down towards the river.

Although checks 6 and 7 could not be seen on the descent, it was possible to see great splodges of lime marking the trail up the other side of the valley and around the resort. Led all the way by Towed, with Mouthorgan in hot pursuit, the pack were soon back to the On-In in a record time of 50 minutes, and well ahead of the walkers.

STOP PRESS
HIMALAYAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS RETURN TO THE ICE AGE

In an unprecedented move grumpy Grand Master David “Rotter” Potter moved the Himalayan Hash back eons with the re-introduction of down-downs on ice. This appears to have been a last ditch attempt to restore order and discipline to the circle.

Once the walkers returned and the brezels had been scoffed, the Master called the circle to order and proceedings began. From an initial starting offer of 1.3, the score for this run was settled at 6.9 in tribute to the return of missing German 69. Before virgins Freddie, Paul and Preben could be formally welcomed to the hash it was noted that Hayden, Courtney and Diced Carrots were sneaking off early to get ready for their farewell party at 1905 Kantipath. Hasty down-downs were arranged, although Diced Carrots managed to escape on the grounds that she was not leaving. Not actually sure if this was Hayden and Courtney's last Hash.

The Virgins were then welcomed, Paul and Preben being visitors to Sigi and Ruth, and Freddie who is here because his family moved just in time from Nairobi. Returnees 69, Rose and Lettie were welcomed back before a farewell was bidden to Leaver Turd Herder. For his and Bog Trotter’s contribution to HHHH he was awarded a framed copy of the Trash for the infamous St Patrick’s Day Green Run. He may be back at some stage before the end of the century to implement the construction of the treatment plant he has spent his time here designing.

Since this was Norwegian Day, Handphun was notably absent but the other Norwegians, Viggo and Sigi, were welcomed back after last weeks Norwegian-free run. Offences on the run were as follows:

• Tibetgal for being shady

•Towed Under for being Gullible

•Mouthorgan, three times for being a freeloader, the third time doing a creditable imitation of Torvil and Dean in his bare feet on the ice.

• Latecomer, Boiled Legs Keeled Over, seated on the ice tried to sell a pair of trousers, complete with car keys, left at his house after last week’s run

• Other latecomers Megabyte, Nicolet and Tibetgal, also seated on the ice

•Towed, lying on his back, just because the Master wanted to get him on the ice

Proceedings were then interrupted by Simba, having broken free from the tree he was tied to, being assaulted by, and assaulting back, those two interlopers and original hash mutts from north of the valley. This was only broken up when Fangio managed to hold on to his charge and re-secure him to a larger tree.

Next week’s Virtual Hare Run Crafty was the next on ice, followed by dip-less Towed Under (on her knees, presumably to gratify some strange whim of the Master). Private Partyers Run Crafty and Night Owl (did he used to be a Brownie pack leader? Towed Under is and she’s called Tawny Owl) took their down-downs in a seated embrace.

Since last week’s Hashit Sona was not present, the substitute Fishit was lost and the replacement Hashit has not been re-coupled, Martina was awarded an in-absentia version and told to get the oxy-acetylene gear out. As is the Master’s tradition in these affairs Mrs Rotter was then called in and accused of losing the Fishit. Since she never lost the Hashit in the first place this seemed grossly unfair and will be drawn to the attention of the CIAA.

Finally the Master was taken to task for being dimensionally challenged, having described the award to Turd Herder as being “about 24cm wide by three quarters of a yard long”. Since social drinking had been called some time before this, social drinking then ensued.

Thanks to the Hares for a good run and to Mrs Rotter, Screwed and presumably the German Bakery for the catering.