Who are the most confused people in Nepal:

1. His Majesty's Government?
2. The G.M.?
3. The front hares?
4. The back hares?
5. The pack?
6. Grumblewald?

The All Nepalese Hare Team proved their ability to totally confuse everyone, including themselves. Even the Fox passed five of the six checks. The problem started before the run when the G.M. offered us a little sermon on the importance of RULES, or something like that. The pack has heard of roulette, playing it uses up one's rouleau, but rules? We didn't think there were any.

While trying to absorb this wisdom, the pack headed up the road and then left and down to "check 1" which, according to Yogi, was recently buried. This was near the home of hasher emeritus, Swiss John, presently yodelling in the Swiss Alps. The rule-following pack quickly found paper leading to a home arrow. According to the rules, as well as common sense, they should have headed for the chariots and beer, for it was a hot afternoon. Yogi's shouts prevailed and he put them back on paper heading down somewhere, to a false trail in a corn patch. Again Yogi had to hold a roundup to get the people going down across another road and to check 2. Grumblewald headed down and found paper leading to a stream and then upstream. He and others seemed to try scrambling up the right bank, but paper continued upstream and then climbed the left bank to check 3 on the road we'd just crossed. Paper started west and then turned north up a false trail. Paper went right from the false trail (Is that in the Rules?), and found its way back to that stream. Again we splashed upstream a while until we got free showers under a water fall while rock climbing onto a trail on the left bank. That got us up to holding check 4 at the Bhairab Sthan Temple. While the runners struggled up, the walkers offered them shouts of encouragement from above. While the walkers wandered left up the road, Yogi put the pack onto paper along the same stream, this time through corn fields. Soon we heard joyous shouts of ON! ON! from FAR above. The pack (not wisely) abandoned paper and scrambled up through steep corn fields to holding check 6. Yogi shouted ON BACK vainly, hoping someone would follow paper upstream to check 5 and then follow a trail to check 6. We noted that the short cutters has NOT followed rules and skipped checks 2 through 5 to spend most of the afternoon basking in the sun and raining abuse on the rule (sort of) followers lost in the corn. Too bad there was no beer there. The G.M. noted that this was perfect parking spot. Paper went somewhere but the discerning headed for the road and ran east past the home arrow which Yogi said didn't exist, finally reaching the beer.

A long time later the bedraggled walkers found their way home. They delayed the circle which quickly came to order:

Score: not given -- why?

Virgins welcomed: Madan, with sons Mohit and Mayank. Madan is in the garment business while his sons study at Modern Indian School and DAV School

Returnee: Radha

Short Cutters who hardly worked up a sweat: Don, Nicolet, Krishna and Run Crafty

Loss of Family Discipline: the senior Palmers whose children would not stand up (perhaps could not after that "walk")

For being in proper running shape: Roger and the Fox

For feeding the leeches: Sock Sucker

Wankers: Mohit and Radha

Slow reporting to the Hash Mismanagement: no pictures from last week: Guano

Grumblewald received down-downs for the following:

1. Hash Helper: Getting the runners up to the trail at the water fall. Totally against hash rules to be kind
2. Upside down beer bottles: shared with Guano, Viggo and Rotter
3. Jacking up (advice to Run Crafty on the use of a car jack).
4. False Accusations: to somebody.
5. Private circle: With Guano and Viggo

(Grunwald family members should note that Grumblewald is being more or less faithful to his promise of not drinking too much beer after running. According to sacred and secret Hash Tradition, Down-Downs are really not drinks of beer, rather signs of humble and faithful submission to the Grand Master's rules.)

Hashit: Viggo. He didn't return it, and perhaps never will.