Stretching 4km from the ring road, this was not one of the more deserving access roads and, thanks to a strategically placed bus, led to a later than usual starting hash. This was convenient for the Hares, as one of them did not get back to the On-In until around 3.15. However, a hardy group of ?? Hashers eventually gathered at the very pleasant (later described as “nice”) On-In site to hear the Hares say very little that could be described as informative about the run. Brief explanations of hashing were given to the two virgins before the pack was sent of in vaguely the right direction to search for the paper.

Check 1 was at the far end of the village and the pack were encouraged down a long false trail before Towed, having cut across the valley, found the correct trail heading off along an extremely muddy road on the next ridge. The Hare was seriously vocal in turning the pack back at the end of the false trail for reasons that will become clear towards the end of this narrative. Check 2 was in the paddy with the trail eventually being found by Yogi Hare, I think, and a run on to Holding Check 3 in the start of the pine forest. This was supposed, I think, to be the fourth check but the pack had been travelling so fast and the trail had been so obvious that a check had been run through.

The walkers had been successfully navigated to the Holding Check by the Back Hare and, by the time the stragglers had arrived, the pack were already checking it out. Paper was eventually found running along the bottom of the hill through the forest by Rotter, closely followed by Towed and Duckbill, relishing her first good run for a few weeks (the same cannot be said for Tadpole and Towed who were singularly knackered!). Holding Check 4 was soon encountered although the Hare was once more getting extremely vocal in giving directions to all and sundry and for some unknown reason holding most of the pack around 100m short of the actual check - possibly something to do with the check being in a small stream.

The narrative becomes a little vague at this point, your scribe having strayed far and wide in search of paper but eventually catching the pack at the last check, having encountered the walkers along the way. A short run out brought us to the home arrow closely followed by a giant X. Was this a new hash innovation - a false home arrow? Sadly not so, but then should we expect innovation from the Scandinavians? This was, in fact, the reason for the Hare standing at the end of the false trail from Check 1 to turn everyone back before they found the home arrow!

There only remained the long haul back up the hill to Check 1 and the run through the village to the On-In to be negotiated. All the pack and the four walkers returned soon after and a short period for recovery was allowed before the GM called the circle to order.

The Hares were called in to face the judgement of the pack. Minus 3 was awarded for some reason, probably the lack of visible checks, and the Master then searched hard for something good to say about the rest of the run but no-one offered any further comment other than lots of things were “nice”, so the award of minus 3 remained. A little unfair really given the amount of effort the Hares put in to guiding the pack around the route with a torrent of shouted instructions.

Virgins Undine and Steve were then welcomed to the hash, and a right pair of dips they turned out to be. Undine works as an intern at the German Embassy and Steve is at the US Embassy. The GM explained the ritual to them and then demonstrated his sharp wit and keen mind by calling for a note for the Hares again! Undine managed to more or less finish her down-down and dutifully emptied the remains from her mug over her head but then spat out the half pint or so that she still had in her mouth. A second down-down was then imposed for wasting hash beer. (mind you, cold, canned Tuborg - who could blame her).

Returnees were too many for a single sitting so Bengt, Towed, Head Chopper, Tsering and 69 took the first shift. Confusion reigned in the GM’s mind as he called in Head Chopper and Sock Sucker for daring to show their horrid little faces at the hash again before it was pointed out that Head Chopper had just had his down-down for returning and Sock Sucker had never been away. Down-down for the Master was awarded by Towed and the two horrors allowed to escape.

Towed Under and Tadpole were then welcomed back and other down-downs were awarded as follows:

• Incidents none, so awarded to 69 for probably crashing and looking fit

• Bipendra for wanking, although Towed pointed out that in view of recently published research he was probably just taking precautions against prostate cancer.

• Grumblewald for sitting in the circle (69 suggested that this was breaking hash rule No. 43 - no pensioners in the circle).

Whilst all this was going on, water babes Kirstie and Custard Tart were seen to be frolicking topless in a convenient puddle to the enchantment of a number of local spectators!

The Master proceeded then to tell a salutary tale of crime where thieves had broken into his office and stolen the hash paper. Not having any means of carrying it, they tried to wrap it round the nearest computer and took their leave, leaving a trail of paper behind them. No reports have yet been received of police in hot pursuit shouting “On-On”.

Greetings from Zeppelin, in Germany, (where else would you expect a Zeppelin to be) (I believe she is actually next door in Thailand - GM) were passed on by 69.

The Master then called for social drinking but Towed gently pointed out that he had forgotten to award the Hashit. Nominations by Head Chopper of the GM for forgetting it were outweighed by the one from the GM of Bengt for being there/clean/Danish/dressed in black. Just before the award was made the Master realised that the Hashit would not be seen again as this was the only visit of the Grate Dane to the hash on this trip. Final award was therefore made to Towed, probably for coming back and making the Master’s life hell, but ensuring that the circle was properly run for a change.

Thanks to the Hares for a “nice” run and to Mrs Rotter for nice hash catering. And to Grumbewald for supplying so much canned Danish beer that it will probably do for next week's hash. Then we can get back on the reall stuff.