Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1292 13 September 2003

GM, I am terribly sorry, no pics of run #1292. After somebody asked me to take a photo of that gay cur with the pink towel I refused to take pictures at all. However, I can offer you a photo of our alternative Sunday's Hash Run (ride) to Dhulikhel. If that's not what you were looking for just dump it. Cheers, 69, ON-ON
18/9/03 Dear GM, As always, in good time before the next hash and as Richard refused to document the event and finally to verify that hashruns (or at least the drinking part) are run (done) even in the absence of the GM hereby pictures from run #1292. Best Regards, Guano
Location Brahmakhel Virgins Gert
Hares Tibetgal, Yogi Hare and Run Crafty Newcomers none
Hashers 35 Returnees Zeppelin, Chick Hordes
Hashit The Fox Leavers Zeppelin
Trash Towed Trashflash possibly Guano if he sends pics, or even 69
The Pictures The Trash

Peter and celebrity cur

Exhaused virgin Gert

Ivan and Gay Cur

The Fox gets set for yet another Hashit

 Another illegal gathering of Hashers, possibly fewer than last week but nonetheless more than 5, assembled at Brahmakhel for the first northern hash in some time. The heavy gathering of black cloud and storms hanging over the run area was clearly visible all the way out to the site, but had miraculously cleared by the time we got there, much to Oliver’s disappointment.

Clearly everyone had thought that the site was much further out than it was as most were there well before the appointed hour of 15.00. Without our sick Master it was a chaotic start. Nonetheless, more ordered than usual. Stand in GM Towed called the circle to order, from which point on Run Crafty took over, doing not only the run briefing but explaining hashing to the virgin as well. He got so involved in this that the fact that the walkers were to stay with Tibetgal was almost overlooked. Nine checks, with 5 and 8 holding had been announced, false trails and river crossings were a possibility. Oh, and the fact that flour was laid for the walkers to follow was completely forgotten so we all thought that by some strange coincidence we were following some bloke with a hole in his flour bag.

First paper headed off towards the river but very quickly led the FRBs astray and knee deep in shiggy. Paper headed briefly back onto the road before heading down towards the river and Check 1. 69 was the first across the river, with Towed, Peter and accompanying mutts making it onto an island before paper was called on down the northern river bank to a rickety bamboo bridge and then back eastward again to Check 2. Information on checks is a bit thin from here on, as they seemed to have suffered a bit in the downpours.

Not unexpectedly the trail headed upwards through sparse forest and eventually to what must have been Holding Check 5 in the Changu Narayan Temple. After a while the Hares gave up on the walkers and called “check it out”. Surprisingly, the paper led out the other side of the temple and down through the village where Bass disgraced himself by trying to eat a very small lamb. Duly chastened, and possibly missing a couple of teeth courtesy of Peter’s corrective boot, he was perfectly behaved for the rest of the run.
Down the hill and back towards the river, the pack was briefly led astray by a false trail before finding the true one further to the east. At the bottom of the hill the trail headed west, then north, then east again. In the meantime Towed, Grumble, Peter, Richard and Guano had managed to follow paper all the way down to the river. Any hint of a check or false trail had been washed away in the rain so the intrepid quintet headed across the river, waist deep, in their never-ending lust for paper. Hearing the cries of “on back” from the Hare, they dutifully responded “sod off” and continued along the north bank of the river.

Others may have found paper, but it was not on the usual trails. Apparently the trail led even further north across the road before heading back via Holding Check 8 to the On-In. Beaufort was one of the few to do the whole thing, staggering home in an amazing 2 hours. Welcome-back Zeppelin, in contrast, got as far as the rickety bridge before turning round and heading back. Presumably scared of getting her umbrella wet!

The bike was there and so, eventually, was The Fox. Arriving late he had simply gone for a gentle jog around the north side of the river without getting his feet wet. Since the scribe is required to be able to provide reliable and coherent text describing the run, he was duly appointed as stand in GM. Calling the circle to order once most were in, he requested the Hares to step forward. For the rivers, temple and paper (lack of, false trails from nowhere, X’s where they shouldn’t be) Grumble wanted to award 30, but then deducted 15 for it being an enjoyable run, 5 for the lack of rain and 0.1 for no real reason other than to achieve a profound 9.9. Amazing, really, that Grumble is capable of such complex mathematics.

Virgin Gert was welcomed. He claims to have something to do with energy efficiency which could explain why he was always seen walking on paper. He is also something to do with Grumblewald or Guano. Returnee Zeppelin was here to collect all the stuff she left when she left before and take it to Bangkok where she has found new employment. For those looking for a good, cheap holiday Zepp will let you have floor space in her broom cupboard for no more than $50 per night. Three out of four of the Chick family returned as well, with the usual bullshit about how busy the life of HM Consul could be - two months’ compulsory leave in the UK, banquets to attend etc., etc., in explanation of their absence.

Other down-downs were as follows:

- Ivan, for his dog being in the pink
- Peter for a dog who liked exposing himself
- Swimmers Sock Sucker and Carrot Brain
- Peter for having a sheepdog and 69 for chasing them as well
- Zepp for leaving (but at least she had run her undisputed 50th Hash - look here - GM)

And the Hashit to The Fox for being late, not going straight to Changu Narayan where Holding Check 5 always is and for not getting his feet wet.

Thanks to the Hares for a challenging run and to Mrs Rotter for the momos, other hash catering and most of all, for leaving her husband at home.