Following wonderfully precise directions and what appeared to have been a minor blizzard of paper on the final approach, we arrived at the On-In site in a beautifully urbane setting by the local village pond in the middle of Kathmandu. Promptly, at around 14.05, the Master (who complains about being called Master when he thinks he is GRAND Master) called the circle to order and the hares into the middle to explain the run. There appeared to be a degree of uncertainty about who the Hares actually were, but eventually four worthies confessed and a muttered briefing ensued. Nine checks were announced with 3, 5 and 7 holding, I think: difficult to hear with the traffic noise running at around 80 decibels.

Since I hadn't a clue where I was most of the time, the run account will not provide the usual geographically precise description but will be brief and vague, unlike the run which was long and vague.

So off we set along the narrow lanes between the houses, on dusty footpaths and asphalt roads heading in a general north-easterly direction. Checks one and two completely passed me by, even though paper was followed all the way until Holding Check 3 was reached in an open area under a wonderful Pipal tree. Waiting only until a couple of walkers had appeared, most notably Oliver, the solitary Hare instructed the pack to "check it out". With numerous options to choose from the pack scattered far and wide with the crafty GRAND Master Rotter sneaking away on the right trail. Soon after Check 4 the delights of the Dhobi Khola were encountered; at least Duckbill thought it was delightful, diving straight in for a stinky swim. The Run thus far had conclusively proved that issues of human and solid waste were not high on the agenda of Kathmandu Municipality!

Soon the ring road was encountered, where the walkers could certainly have done with a school crossing patrol, and we headed off into more open country somewhere, I think, to the north-west of Bauddha, and into more familiar hashing territory. Holding Check 5 re-grouped the pack but the run out from Check 6, a simple back check, followed by the long, long climb up to ?? Stupa and holding Check 7 spread them far and wide again. From here there was only one way the trail could go, looping round a little to the north and then back to the south-west. From this point on, the pack and the Hare lost paper, rediscovering it only some 200m from the On-In. Having broken away from the pack along with Yogi Hare and (GRAND Master) Rotter, and subsequently losing (GRAND Master) Rotter, Yogi Hare and I decided on a straight run for home, being a good 90 minutes into the run and still well outside the ring road. Somehow the rest of the pack had got ahead of us and we eventually caught them up on our way back through the city streets, being led by the Hare.

Arriving back at the On-In around two hours and twenty minutes after starting out, with the walkers already home for some time, it was noted that the GRAND Master was still missing. Some 15 minutes later he staggered in looking decidedly the worse for wear and collapsed into a welcome garden chair.

With 15 minutes and a couple of beers to recover, and the circle pre-formed by dint of setting out the chairs and stools in a circle, it was relatively easy for the GM to call for order and for the Hares to come into the sitting circle. Without Grumblewald or, in fact, any other Scandies (who had so much abuse heaped on them in last week's trash that they may never return), creative scoring of the run was possible. With a starting offer of "something big" from the GM, the final score of 37.2 - an approximation for the length of run in kilometres - was justly deserved.

Virgin Shashikala was next into the circle. She had probably heard that the hash was a bunch of some sort of artists and being a proper artist herself, had decided to come along. Asked if she would paint the GM, the response from the circle was "give us a pot of emulsion and some brushes and we'll do it, no problem".

Other down-downs were:

• Visitor and itinerant hasher Timmy Tank Top from Wall(y)ingford, here on his Christmas hols and hoping to do a trek somewhere

• Returnee Dead Dog on his own, other returnee Nicolet having legged it straight after the run (or possibly she's still out there somewhere as I don't recall seeing her come back)

• Latecomers Connie and Griot

• Returnee Shimsha and virgin Ira

• Leaver Pinchi, off back to Dhankuta

• Taxi riders Towed Under and Custard Tart, missing co-offenders Hanoi Hannah, Thanh Mai and James

• Run Crafty for not paying attention and calling the taxi riders in again

• Towed Under again for being a killjoy and telling the kids to shut up (I thought she was talking to the Master actually!)

• Mark, to give a perfect demonstration down-down

• Ivan the Terrible, officially now named Itchy Balls, for his excellent display of double wanking

• Dr Shyam for doing nothing

• Whopper, to show how people who can't manage a full mug should do it

• Towed for golfing last week

• Hashit to Itchy Balls for starting early

• Towed again, for resembling next week's fodder of stuffed turkey

• Timmy Tank Top for asking at the start of the run if there would be lemon stops??

Just as the GRAND Master was about to call for social drinking, Itchy Balls stepped in and called the GRAND Master back. He proceeded to give an ode to the GRAND Master (quite what is owed to the GRAND Master, I'm not too sure) that is reproduced in full below. Clearly Itchy Balls is using a script writer as a) there are words like "introspection" used which no Canadian understands, b) whoever wrote it has clearly never experienced the GRAND Master in full flow and c) the person does not understand that the GRAND Master's contribution to the website is purely pictorial (it's why he only reads comics and earns his living drawing pictures of houses). The said cake was inscribed "to our rude but beloved GRAND Master". Obviously there wasn't enough icing for the second "t" in but.

Thanks to the Hares for proving that runs that start in the city can be fun (as long as you then run the pack the necessary 3 k's to get outside the ring road). Next time the Hares would like to set a run on the north-east side of the ring road, can I only ask that it starts there. However the precedent set for after hash catering was magnificent and a very pleasant evening ensued. Thanks to all concerned.

GRAND Master David, please let your faithful hashers honour you!
In these times of spiritual introspection we thought of thanking you for your kind words and graceful consideration after each hash. Also for the quality of the scripture on the website to which you contribute so elegantly.

(GRAND) Master, please accept this humble cake as a modest token of our appreciation and make us the pleasure of the following down… down… down.