Run Crafty's last run seemed to be mostly his last run, but backwards. At least that's the way it started out and ended. Before we could start, however, the On-In had been changed due to the proposed site, according to the GM, being covered in dogshit (ed.: I didn't notice that the GM was covered in dogshit!). We're not sure that he was at the right place but he found his own level as a director of traffic, guiding people to his carefully chosen alternative.

The run briefing advised that there were either nine or ten checks, with three of them being holding checks, and not much more. Walkers were to go with Beership Down who explained that they would be following paper where it had been laid, but otherwise wouldn't! Rules were explained for the virgins and we were carefully guided to the proposed On-In by the Hare before being turned loose on the northern reaches of the Kathmandu valley.

I'll ignore Keeled's snide insinuations in last week's trash that descriptions of every twist and turn on the hash are boring. This is only his justification for a complete lack of short-term memory, not to mention a total inadequacy with the written word.

We set out along the home run from Run 1355 (although I confess it wasn't the home run that I'd used) and after a check or two ended up temptingly at the bottom of a long climb up to the ridge. George, Rodent and me, and a few others following on, headed upwards in search of paper. We were justified in this, as on the last run when he set a check in this location, the Hare had taken the trail downwards.

There being no paper on top of the ridge, and seeing the pack and the walkers heading in a vaguely northerly direction form the aforesaid check, I decided that a run along the ridge would soon bring me to a holding check where I could smugly await the arrival of a hot, sweaty and knackered pack. Confidence in this strategy began to ebb as I saw the pack turn east. If I was right in my guess, why wasn't The Fox with me? After another five minutes, discretion, somewhat unusually, got the better part of valour and I started the descent to meet the pack.

Somewhat inevitably, Sod's law kicked in at this point, and sure enough I caught up with the pack at the bottom of the hill as they were embarking on the start of the climb up to the ridge! The holding check at the top allowed us all to regroup (and was the last anyone saw of Moosette and 3D for a couple of hours). There was really only one way from here, and that was a lovely run along the ridge heading east to the next holding check where we paused for a photo opportunity, tried to stuff the Hare up a tree and coined a new hash term – “going for a Keeled” – after he was heard to be calling “no paper” from behind a convenient bush.

After a brief (and fruitless) wait for the missing Moosette and 3D, we checked this one out as well, although Yogi and Shiva had already wandered off along the trail without pausing. Other than a back check that fooled no-one, there were no further challenges and we were soon heading back along the out trail from Run 1355, and to the On-In.

The knackered bodies were given a little time to recover, and half the pack decided to leave including The Fox, who was seen pedalling off as the first runners returned, and Zamila, who was not seen at all as she had to leave to get ready for a party to which Shrivelled was apparently also invited. (It says something that it only takes the Awesome Aussie 5 minutes to beautify himself, but 3 hours for Zamila). The Master called the circle to order (and, in my book, consigned the Hashit to the Hare for having hashers still out when the circle was called) and the serious business of the day commenced.

The Hares got a minus 0.1, having had 5 points docked for each Hasher that was missing after the circle had started. The usual flattery regarding hills, paper, excesses and lack of, was dispensed by the circle but to no avail and the score stood.

Virgins Jo and John were welcomed – Jo has been working for a Nepali NGO for the last three years (that we hope will manage to re-register as a neutral, impartial and transparent non-political organisation, otherwise she's a leaver next week) and I've absolutely no recollection of why John is here.

Grumble, George and, possibly Steffan were given a squatting down-down, I think for leaning on cars. (If the GM wasn't so stingy with the bytes, I'd be able to tell who was in the photos.)

Run & Walk Crafty, somewhat surprisingly, were still in the circle at this stage and got their leavers down-down. Run had also been given one before this for some unforgettable misdemeanour. Much jubilation followed as Aki and 3D appeared over the horizon, only an hour or so late, and were promptly given a down-down for getting lost. Judging by the speed with which the ale disappeared, it was welcome for both.

Demonstrating that justice prevails on the Hash, virgin Jo was asked to spot the bum that was published in last week's Nepali Times from identity paraders Griot, Towed, Rodent and Keeled. A small bribe from Towed ensured that Griot was correctly identified for beating the censors.

At some stage Shrivelled, as usual, had to have his say. Pulling in a few old fart technophobes, he asked them to identify what was on the other end of the rod protruding from his shorts. Sure enough they all identified a Very Heavy Fone. The even older technophobe fart, Grumblewald, was then called in for being unable to identify this device, thinking it was a satphone. Had the GM been on the ball (an event that last happened in 1967) he would have quoted rule 1357 that clearly states “no VHF radios on the hash” and given the down-down to Shrivelled. As it was he gave in to the smooth-talking Down-Underer and awarded it to poor old Grumble.