You must have heard members of the Inner Circle boasting about how the Himalayan Hash happens every week, no matter what, except when there has been a royal massacre the night before. This trash has been written to maintain this unyielding tradition (surely illusion? ed.).

As start time approached the Rotters were enjoying a beer by Phewa Tal 200 km to the west of Kathmandu, the Keeleds were marooned on an island in the Bay of Thailand, the Toweds were haring up the M6 somewhere near Shap, and Yogi Hare was in Mustang gathering Yarshagumba (whilst those hashers who were in the Valley were sitting around shamefacedly or wandering around near their houses wondering what to do with themselves!).

The turnout was quite low as nobody gathered somewhere in the Valley to take part in the 1405th running of the Himalayan Hash. As usual nobody listened to the pre-run briefing and Keeled did not say that he thought he knew where the trail would go. The Fox and Griot weren't late for a change and Hurry did not turn up at the wrong place at the right time or the right place at the wrong time.

Once the hash did not get going there weren't two holding checks on prominences in the landscape and several stream crossings. The run did not last for about an hour and a half and neither did Towed leave the paper trail to go his own merry way (as there wasn't any paper and he wasn't there!). There were certainly no hash crashes and no bemused locals.

The circle did not get going after half of the participants had already driven off. The hares were not praised for a well set run in good hashing country in spite of complaints about paper mismanagement. All the same the run has been awarded a well-deserved 9.9! The GM was waving his arms around manicly and shouting at all and sundry to "SHUT UP" (after knocking a few beers back in Pokhara). Meanwhile, back in the Valley the GM was not frequently interrupted by the master baiters, and Itchy Balls did not wear a hole in the pockets of his commodious shorts.

As usual there was a deathly silence when volunteers were called on to set next week's hash. Keeled did not say that he would try and dragoon the Fox into doing it.

There is no need to thank Mrs Rotter for the post-run snacks, as there was no bloody run and certainly no post-run snacks -- which brings us to the awarding of the hashit. The hashit is belatedly and jointly awarded to the Uncouple and Pakesie who apparently were in the Valley and even went for a walk on this particular Saturday afternoon (in the vicinity of Bhaisepati) but without laying any paper or inviting anyone else along. What a disgrace!