I'm out of practice here, so this may not be the usual literary masterpiece to which the hash is rightfully entitled and has come to expect as the norm (except when Keeled does it). Nonetheless, I'll plough on, late in the week with memories of what went on even dimmer than usual. I've had a couple of San Migs, just to get into a hashing spirit.

Approaching this new On-In site we passed The Fox and his disgustingly fit chum Alex perambulating their velocipedes furiously along the way. They will, we thought, be late, but not as late as shrivelled and the UN crew who had phoned as we passed Bhaktapur to check that they were at the right Bhaisepatti. They weren't!

Anyway, there was a jolly good turnout when we got there and a few more arrived after that. The Fox got in around 10 minutes late, so he was well before the off. The Hares were called into the middle to explain, no-one paid any attention either to them or the GM and off we set north in search of the paper. This was duly found, but it only led to a collection of paper Xs and after a bit of searching around the Hares eventually took sympathy and called us back to the real trail via the On-In. Clearly this had been planned to allow sufficient time for Shrivelled to arrive and be able to catch up as he passed us in his chariot as we left the On-In for the second time. There was also an intellectual discussion by a few of the pack to the effect that if you had left the On-In, then the next time you came to it was at the end of the run, therefore this was the end of the run and we should break out the beer. Masochists prevailed and we dutifully followed the Hares to the real trail which, after a bit of a trek down the main road, headed off to the south.

Passing the walkers shortly after leaving the road, we started to climb and that was it. We barely stopped climbing ‘til we reached the ridge some 400m higher via jungle, scrub and two or three checks. There followed a superb run along the ridge, in and out of pine forest but with fantastic views of the full mountain range for most of the way (for any non-HHHH readers rash enough to visit our humble webshite, the mountain range in question is the Himalaya from Manaslu to Everest – not something your average Hasher sees on a regular run). Other things that were able to see in the distance were such notable landmarks as Carrot Brain's jail, sorry, school, the expanses of Dhulikhel and the beauty and architectural excellence of Banepa.

The pack did seem to get a bit scattered around here, with Towed and The Fox popping up in front unexpectedly every now and again and Branney and Keeled (dumb sods) following paper. Eventually we were compelled to drop down from the ridge. Since I was two valleys away to the south by that time, I've no idea who were the shining lights leading the way. By this stage, pain was dulling the memory but I do recall an incredibly long run in along what we were advised by the work-experienced Layzee Towed was the experimental Swiss road.

As usual the Hares lied about the number of checks. They said nine, others counted eleven but I only saw four. Not that it really mattered on such a superb run.

Eventually all but Apple had staggered in and the Master called proceedings to order. Walkers Hare Raju had already buggered off, as had the ???ing Fox and friend. The remaining two Hares were awarded a record nine-point eleven for their efforts after a fairly brief discussion – just reward for a really great run in a new area.

Virgin Dominique was welcomed on her own – goodness knows what she's doing here but she took her down-down like a man and was gullible enough to follow the GMs instructions and pour the leftovers on her head. Keep coming back, Dominique, and like the rest of us you'll learn not only how to ignore the GM but on a good day, you'll not even notice that he's there at all!

It is possible that the newcoming Irish/Peruvian lawyer, Carlo from Limerick followed, at least that is what the pictures indicate. Being a lawyer, he probably thought the GM should pay him, rather than the other way round, hence his non-appearance on the hash register for the day.

There were loads of returnees – Griot, Branney, Slow Drip, Dead Dog's Dad, Peter (affectionately named Towedflower in view of family connections) and spouse Alison (wrongly accused of virginity in the header, but since she was hiding in the car by this stage no-one noticed). Sometime around this stage Yogi had slipped away on his bike to return bearing a knackered Apple on the pillion.

Wankers impossible BigJim, Towed and the GM were called in for pocketless shorts – not a sin you'd catch Itchy for! Problem was, with The Fox gone, and the GM and Towed in the circle, there was no-one to raise a note for the song until tremulous notes were eventually wrung from Slow Drip and Shrivelled.

There may well have been other misdemeanours that were celebrated (such as Ravi for reckless driving), but since they were not captured on cellulite, they will not be otherwise recorded. The one remaining issue was therefore the Hashit. There had been some discussion earlier as to why the run site was described as beyond Sanga but the map showed the way to Towed Hall. Both sites were called Bhaisepatti, so who should care?. There may even have been a down-down for Keeled for this misdemeanour. Anyway, the main discussion focussed on this area despite efforts to divert it to Shrivelled for getting all the way up with Flare Pair the previous week (Ama Dablam, that is. What else could you be thinking?) and Keeled's socks (which reminds me that Keeled and Branney got a new shoes down-down earlier but Branney faked it whilst Keeled strained his through the said orange socks). Having eliminated the weakest candidates, the GM homed in on Keeled and Apple. Was it to be the one who cocked it up or the one who pointed it out, thus creating further confusion with changes of map and garbled instructions on the webshite. Justice was done with the award to Apple and we all drank up and went home, living happily ever after for another week at least.

Thanks to Mrs Rotter for the snacks and to the Hares for a fantastic run. If the Lost Ark can find his way to next week's run site, maybe we'll have another good one then as well.

Oh, and yes, there was a second virgin