In the opening circle our celebrated couple were presented with red feather boas which they ceremoniously turned into tails. But as they informed us all that we were on our own for the run and that they were doing the walk, the benefit of being able to see their boas from a distance was diminished, so tails it was. They claimed that they were really good at laying things, so that we’d have no problem. Not an egg in sight though, so wonder what they could have been talking about?

We were also told of a new ‘Aussie rules’ check system where, after the check, there had to be three piles of paper in a row to denote the correct path – other wise ‘you were out of luck, mate’. This led to a new system of calling the post-check paper of ‘on-on one’, ‘on-on two’ and ‘on-on three’ before the usual check-sitting ‘are-you’ crowd would leave their comfortable circle to proceed with the run.

The paper led down the hill Bagmatiwards to the first check and a great deal of confusion to find the trail again – Almost all runners headed down the path further, checking all over the place for the illusive papers, but no one could find more than two lumps. Heated discussions ensued about whether it was number two or number three and where to go. Squizz would have loved it. Eventually some enterprising person realized that the most likely trail would not be down the gentle slope through the fields, but back up the hill we had just come down – and of course, that was the case.

The next section was ‘shortest hash ever revisited’ (Hash 1447) territory – weaving in and out of the semi-urban area in almost exactly the same way as that notorious hash set by the same culprits. We thought, ‘are they going to do it again? Will we get to skip right to the beer?’ A few danced in anticipation. But alas, it was not to be and we headed down to Nakhu Kholawards.

The river check was another opportunity for mass confusion. Paper was laid going doing the river, even on rocks in the middle of the river and at least half the crowd crossed over and searched for paper, but there were only two, not three. After about 15 minutes of trail searching, it was called going completely the other way up the river, with the crossings and up and along the Raj Khulo and quickly back down over the river to the second holding check at a large tree. Much later it was revealed that one of the newcomers decided to have a bath in the river…oops. And one wonders how the girls in Tevas managed to get through, but they gamely came along bringing up the rear.

The circle celebrated the usual rounds of virgins, newcomers, visitors, etc. Downdowns were given for:

And then it came to goodbye to Squizza and Barbie Girl time. Kruel first abused them with the following poem

Gee Whiz,
We’re losing Squiz.
First Towed and now Shrivelled,
Who’s left to bellow out the drivel
Of bawdy jokes that are rudish
And offend children and folks that are prudish?
Yes, the last of the outspoken is leaving us,
And in his wake, an awkward, quiet hush.
But if that weren’t enough, we’re also losing Ingrid,
A H4 heroine whom we wish had with us much longer lingered. [ed. ARGGHHH]
But we wish you both the best of luck in Sri Lanka,
And may you there meet many more HHH wankers!

Yes a good summing up of Squizza’s main contribution to the Himalayan Hash although we still do have the GM to shout at people. Keeled then presented a couple of vintage hash T-shirts to the happy couple that the GM has been trying to get rid of for ages. There are now only two of these heirlooms left and they will be auctioned off in the next circle.

For his final performance, Squiz invited out his buddies, the mountain climber and BigJim to do a trick together. Squiz showed us all his famous ‘Steve, I forget what this was called – horseradish clean out system or something’ where he stuffed a condom up his nose and pulled it out his mouth. During the whole process we had a bit of a gaggy, eye watering tense moment but at last he succeeded and we had visual poetry in motion. His co-presenters abstained.

And it must be mentioned that Squizza set some pretty memorable hashes. His first hash (Run 1354) was the first to cross the turgid lower Bagmati in about 15 years. The highlight though must be the Hash 1384 A to B run he set that fooled everybody and included the raiding of Grumble’s fridge for beer and molesting his wife on the way back.

The Hashit inevitably went to the Himalayan Hash’s erstwhile alpha male, Squizza. Bon Voyage! and keep up the good work and next time we see you there might be some of those little Squizzas that you used to wind Grumblewald up about!

Best wishes to Squizza and Barbie Girl as they head to Sri Lanka.