Click to see a profile and a plan of Hash 1461 as run by Steroid.

So much for German efficiency as after much prompting 69 finally coughed up the following pissweak trash (with subsequent additions by Doggy iStyle and Keeled Over). His submission came with the following caveat emptor! KO

KO I almost do not dare to send what I have trashed so far. As I told you on Saturday, I am pretty busy with my daily meetings with the Client. See enclosed what I've got. The excellent but lengthy run put me in some kind of trance, so I cannot recall much details. You have to edit quite a lot. Don't despair of my GermEnglish. Again, sorry for putting you in trouble with the trash. ON-ON 69

69’s introduction:

After so much confusion about the directions to Hash No 1461 a nice crowd of 63 managed to gather at this week’s location. Confusion could have been avoided (or doubled) if the Hash Mismanagement had just given GPS coordinates.

Doggy iStyle’s account of the run

The trail started off near Nag Daha and it did not take long before the FRB’s, led by the unreliable GM, got everyone following a false trail at the first check near the pond. It was only after few hints from the helpful hares that the runners set out in the eastwardly direction from the pond. After couple more checks and well-laid false trails, the group made it to the base of Santaneswor hill for the first holding check. A couple of false trail marks half way up the hill from both sides got few smart runners a chance to visit the temple and increase their chances of passing on the FRB genes. The rest of the pack reluctantly followed the GM who accidentally (hang on iStyle, the selfless, perceptive, enthusiastic checking that I always do (mainly, it seems, for the benefit of our friends over 'The Pond') could in no stretch of meaning be described as 'accidental' - GM) found the right trail heading away from the hill towards Chapagaon.

The trail then turned east and dropped down through scenic fields, and after few ups and downs via Bistagaon, the pack climbed up a ridge to the second holding check. By then we had lost Yogi Hare who was last seen climbing Carlos Santaneswor Hill. While the smart and experienced runners were looking for the trail to loop back towards the on-in, Raj Prakash, with help from a local damsel, managed to find paper down the ridge further southeast towards Badikhel. On the next ridge, the exhausted pack turned north towards Badegaon after the eighth check, and after crossing a small stream, climbed the final ridge towards Badegaon. By then, GPiss (aka Steroid) was looking for a cab and was pleased to find the nice bus near the Godavari Resort.

Some observations by Keeled Over:

Steroid aka GPiss took his GPS on the run and bored everybody by going on endlessly about his coordinates. The final readout showed that he had covered 10.7 km although the runners who check out from checks and came across a myriad of false trails (like ME, I must point out - GM) would have covered considerably more.

FRB Keeled reached the bus in 1 hour 59 minutes out whilst W.O.B. Steroid got there in 2 hour 10 minutes. However, the bus wasn’t quite up to the standard of the one laid on by Squizza from Chapagaun on Run 1384. The Gee Ms and Doggy iStyle rushed off and bought beer and water for the relieved pack to sup on the chilly bus ride back to the On-In.

More incoherent rambling from 69:

Then the circle was called, driven by the walkers who had waited for more than one hour for the runners to arrive. The Hares were called in the circle and there were just enough mugs to provide the 4 (!) Hares with the well-deserved down-downs.

The GM was found creeping by awarding the Hares with the unspeakable score of 10.0. Well, it was an excellent run but a score of 9.9999 would have been well enough.

The usual down-downs went to the virgins, returnees and newcomers. Still under the impression of Squizz’s last week’s performance, the crowd expected his successor Ash not to do anything as disgusting (therefore totally appropriate for the circle) as the condom trick. However, it turned out that the Squizz hand-over procedure wasn’t good at all. All what he must have told to Ash is how to wank properly. [Sounds like a real hand-over to me - GM]

A Towed look-alike was awarded a down-down. [OK Towed, it was Andy Pryce if you really want to know - GM]

Then the GM tried to add some readies to the H4 fortune [i.e. my retirement fund - GM] by putting up two H4 T-Shirts up for auction. It turned out that a professional auctioneer was amongst the crowd who somewhat failed to maximize the profit for the H4. Instead, the T-Shirts were sold for 210 NPR each which is probably less than they cost when they were made.

Doggy Style got a down-down for completing 51 runs with the H4. He admitted to not having paid for one run which is considered as a major hash crime. As appropriate penalty all his runs will score zero.

69’s complain about last week’s trash was sorted out by awarding down-downs for him and Gee Ms and by handing him the honour of writing this week’s trash.

The Hashit arbitrarily went to the Uncoupled for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After most of the crowd had already left, a chocolate NO-NO cake (c/o Niva) was pulled out which tasted delicious. This is to be understood as an ON-ON call for more NO-NO cakes in the circle.

Next week’s run will be set by some ICIMOD staff, somewhere.