Scholars double-top nerve-wracking false-trail galore

Dateline: Kathmandu, Nepal - An abundance of false trails, and the absence of most top-ranked players meant HHHH race 1547 could have been anybodies'. That the Hash Scholars have managed to hark in the top two positions is perhaps not a surprise; but since the trail itself was their main enemy, this time around, the lack of quality in the field was more than made up for by the excitement that the race conditions intrinsically provided.

Some called it bad sportmanship, some called it tactics -- either way, the predictions about the gaping holes in the starting field pretty much came true. Yogi Hare, Raj, Hurry Krishna, Dingaling... none of them turned up. Combine that with the fact that Bryan and Free Willy were this week's hares, and thus were exempt from competition, we can now see the reason for the weird odds the bookies presented us with.

The reason for this charade was of course exactly that composition of the hares. The 'long-legged crew' have a reputation to keep up, and boy did they deliver! In the opening circle they made clear they didn't beat around the bush. In total 14 checks, three of them holdings. Since this was a 'long legged' affair, this implied at least 14 false trails. So you can't really blame the top rank for counting their chance of winning and handing in one of their Jokers? The absence of Yogi Hare was shocking though, since this was his red one, and the season is long from over [ed. What the hell is he blathering on about?].

The beginning of the race went as expected. False trails, false trails and more false trails. And then some. There was so much cursing in the air, and it was so varied and original, that this commentator's ears turned scarlet. Lots of rice-fields formed the decor, which made for a nice sight as the string of runners fanned out for clues, and contracted again once they were found. The visibility/clearness of checks was patchy, which didn't bring the cursing rate down any.

Rain was lurking in the air the whole race, and had done so plenty before it of course. It's the monsoon after all. A novelty in these parts were concrete-fortified rice-field dividers/walkways. Which made for excellent an running surface ... in contrast with the soggy mud that surrounded it on all sides. Legs would disappear into them up to the knee. The troupe would travel in a tight pack, as if defending itself against this hostile environment.

Slowly (and I do mean slowly), the runners approached the hills surrounding the starting point, eying them from the side. Finally they were led up. But this of course was a false trail. After some meandering finally they hit upon the first holding. Check eight, or was it nine... or seven perhaps. In any case long overdue. Next to an obligatory temple.

After this the terrain seemed to elevate somewhat. Nice views abounded. Holdings started to become commonplace: next to some water buffaloes, on top of a fjord-like structure... The back of the pack held out surprisingly well. Bets on losing evergreen favorite B.U.T.T., Bernie or first-time runner Mirjam (all around 2/1) would have been lost. Sensing this mid-race, Bernie could not suppress a primordial scream, defying the natural elements, vultures and his god (after the race, rumour had it Bernie bet on himself making it to the end, so as to pay off the debt his Italian mother had plunged herself into for housing him for 33 years while unemployed without compensation. Although nothing has yet been proved).

All of a sudden the pack reached the top of their elevation-level for this run. Still almost as one logical unit. Suddenly there was blood in the air. people sensed the race neared the end, and the runners who still had the energy to care tried to make a break for it and scrambled down a rather straight-forward path down a forresty hill.

And this is where things got exiting. Out of no-where outsider StripTies managed to take the lead, striking fear into the hearts of stayers like K.O. and Bryan (who's official status in this race was uncertain, since as an official hare failed to do the actual haring, because he claimed to have lost his mind in Thamel (haven't we all!)).

It was a short lived lead though because soon he was overtaken by Hash Scholar 1 with no name of his own. Just before crossing a stone bridge leading to civilization he also had to concede to Hash Scholar 2 with no name of his own. And in this formation they would cross the finish-line. Leaving no glory at all to their closest trailing rival Bryan who finished minutes if not months later. Not to speak of DoggyStyle, who, pushed forward by an altruistic 10 year old girl (Prem's Daughter), surprisingly came in last.

All in all it was a fair race, with a well deserved no. 3 spot for StripTies, who's commitment, flair, ingenuity and sportmanship lifted the excitement and appeal of this race far above any in recent memory. He is a living testament to the fact that you don't have to win the race to be a true winner.

[Why no mention of the Geek Momma, Doggy Style and his Geek Squad?]