Version A: from Kruel, unsolicited

A diminished group of Hashers (compared with last week) straggled in to the OnSite atop the templed knoll below Bhaisipati with the Bagmati on three sides. Pulling in just as the opening circle was ending, Raj and Shasa promptly scurried off to the closest garden restaurant. The rest of us nearly ran after them until we realized that the only paper in that direction was of the toilet variety. Following immediately after Raj and Shasa, Rul (the crazy one of “why are we waiting” fame) drove up in a taxi whose fare had reached astronomical numbers as it followed the lost and clueless Raj around in circles searching for the OnSite site.

The real first paper led us down the steep hill to the north only to take us back up fifty meters or so to the east of the OnSite. We then descended the same hill, this time on the south side, only to climb back up again fifty meters or so to the east. Growing wise to the pattern, I waited and watched smugly as the pack descended the ridge for the third time, this time again on the north. The pack continued on to the river and headed north a ways to the third check. Meanwhile, I plodded north atop the ridge.

Nobody could find the next paper so, growing impatient, I descended while assuring everyone there was no paper up the hill on the path by which I came. As soon as I got to the bottom of the hill someone yelled “on-on” from the very path by which I had descended.

Paper then meandered northwards up to a holding check at the pink house and temple atop the hill near the Chobhar bridge. From here paper headed southeast to the gravel road, made a few pointless turns, and continued on to the much-visited little hill with the little tree where Keeled invariably says, “This is the Hash nipple!” to anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot. Atop the nipple the walkers were waiting for us. Once gathered we noted the smog, posed for a photo, and headed northwest around the contour of the valley, then down to the river. Except Kruel, Raj, Silent John, and Shasa who lost paper within a few hundred meters of the OnSite and could hear the beers calling.

All-in-all the run was just over 10 km according to Google Earth’s ruler tool (which does not account for the elongation of distance due to the vertical factor. I’m guessing more like 12km). (Kruel, are you suggesting that the total amount of the up and downs was 2 km? Surely not! GM)

The hares, Sweet Cheeks AKA Kwik-Kwok, DoggyStyle and Tony were called into the middle and I was impressed with Hasher affability as they praised the run and the hares. The GM called it “Compact and clever” and said DoggyStyle had the making of a good GM. The gushy praise party culminated with a score of 9.99. This Kruel Grinch on the other hand had been thinking asiNine.99 (or some variation of that) because of all the pointless up-and-downs of the same (insert explicative here) hill and meanderings in tight circles.

We said goodbye until next February to Tony, who set the walk which also seemed to have been well received. His full name is AntONy AndersON— obviously born to hash! Various down-downs were had until two blackened chimney elves exploded into the circle throwing ginger biscuits to all the good Hash boys and girls. There were enough pickings off the ground for the rest of us, though. Everything was happily tied up well before dark in stark contrast to last week, when the circle didn’t begin until the sun was long gone.

And now, the Official Version, from Howezaat

The GM (good start Hzt! - GM) had some competition as he started the circle at the on–on temple site. Lots of private parties were taking place, with all the usual music and noise. But as usual the GM, in his most eloquent manner, was able to gain ‘full hasher attention’ and get the details of the days run and walk outlined by the runner hares DS and SC and the walkers hare Tony. Nine checks in all were announced, with three river crossings and the subtle threat of a visit to that white house perched high on the hill to the west and in full view of everyone.

The runners headed off back towards town following the sweet smelling Bagmati up to the derelict cement factory. They then turned eastwards away from the river and south and round in a full circle back to the OnSite. A very ‘compact’ run covering a few medium climbs, temple visits and a number of reasonable opportunities to run and hash crash (as in the case of this scribe and the GM). But with thankfully no river crossings! or visit to that white house!

A feature of the run were the frequent private excursions taken by those fast and fit front runners (KO unhindered by son, Kruel, Silent John, Suffer in Silence, Raj, NiceHash, YR-we-waiting and a few others) who were constantly going off in different directions and not sticking to the obvious and compact running course. Well obvious to most except Apple, who confidently proclaimed that he was close to Towed Hall when in fact the cement factory was only 100m to the left, behind some pine trees. The Butcher and Son were also spotted many times trailing behind after having taken the false trail.

Obviously, the hares had given much scheming thought to their plans to confuse, although resulting opportunity for short cuts was appreciated by that elite group of back markers who as always enjoy being passed by the lost front runners. HK and the GM are trying to join this rather select group (HZ, Apple, LL and LLL) as it was noted they spent a significant portion of time walking, resting, short cutting, and taking directions from the honest thoughtful hares.

A good, enjoyable, 2-hourish run with the walkers returning shortly after the runners and a score of 99.9009 being achieved. For once the circle commenced in day light and all the usual down–downs were administered by a reasonably non-exhausted GM. Everyone was rather pleased that they could set off home or move on to the next party when it was still daylight. One notable feature of the circle was the sudden (but not unexpected) appearance of HeBitch and the usual partner (Hzt, clever way of avoiding having to try and remember her real name - GM) all darkened and fancy dressed, and raining biscuits on everyone . Some excuse was given about attendance at a Dutch Embassy function, but they were both, as usual, given down–downs for being late comers.

A short note to KL (Hash Scribe President based in the Big Apple) about the late and in some cases non-appearance of Hash Trashes by certain HWU scribes: " how can these scribes be encouraged to submit the trash on time? (Click here for KL's response) The delays are causing severe stress to the GM" OnOn.

But Wait! There's more from Kruel:

I say you can never have too much trash! We have to keep competitive
with the state of affairs in the valley after all. So here's a bit more
from the original Hash Trash Poet:

Hash 1570 was all set for 2 o'clock
Doggy and Cheeks set the run and Tony the walk
Most hashers were there early to pay,
Even the ever-late Hurry K
But aparently Shasa and Raj forgot to check the tic-toc
And almost missed the haring of Doggy and Kwik-Kwok
But after a brief stop at the loo
The fun began without much adieu

(Chorus)
Down the acccursed hill and then back up
Again and again without any stop
Doesn't it seem we've been here before,
Yes, but three meters east, or maybe four.

(Repeat ad naseaum)
We ran several stretches by the dear Bagmati
Gagging at the stench of that big Bog-Potty
Then up to a holding in temple on a hill
We talked about climbing walls and who took a spill

(Chorus)
Then down and around in zig-zag ways
We all gained empathy for those rats in the maze
Then up again to a tree where we found hill-tip hold.
Where Keeled faithfully exclaimed, "Hey, it's the Hash nipple!"

(Chorus)
Then more of the same for the good and obedient,
But as for this scribe and a few fellow devients
We broke the rules and found our own way
Not hard since on-in was ne'er more than 30 yards away
"To the beer! To the beer! Enough of this hash!
After all I paid 350 in hard earned cash!"
This rang through my mind as I trudged up that same accursed hill
Happy knowing that I could now drink my fill.

The Webshite is gradually running out of bandwidth, so contributions to this Hash are now closed. GM