Hashing helps in ensuring a healthy constitution!

Hash 1634 was run near the town of Sankhu which was once an important trading post between Lhasa and Kathmandu. The town derives its name from Sankhapura, which means Conch City. It is believed that Sankhu was established in 1299 AD and is the oldest urban center in the valley. This legendary place is worth a visit because of its old houses, beautiful wood- carved temples and old stone water taps. Its former prosperity shows with mandy wood carved homes. But the hashers did not see these many wood carved homes because they were forced to run mile after mile in fields instead. But no matter! (Yes! At last we have a generic introductory trash paragraph! Future writers just substitute Sankhu for any other beauty spot in the Valley - GM).

Organized at the last minute by The Scholars, it was a lovely hash especially, as the GM noted, relatively few people showed up. Luckily, however, only the crème de la crème of the Himalayan Hashing world attended including Harold, the GM, Rabi, Keeled Over, Hurry Krishna and Slimline Dicky. (Space filling, Christian. Get on with the action - GM)

“Yes,” said the happy GM over and over (as though a mantra) “lucky for us the bloody riff-raff and hoi poloi did not show up today!”

In case you did not know, Hoi Polloi (Ancient Greek: ?? p?????) is used in English to denote "the masses" or "the people", usually in a derogatory sense. This is explained here because, as a rule, the Hoi Polloi do not know what Hoi Polloi means. Synonyms for "hoi polloi" include commoners, great unwashed minions, multitude, plebeians, proletariat, rabble, rank and file, riff-raff, the common people, the herd, the many, the plebs, the proles, the peons and the working class. Outstanding members of the Hoi Poloi, the GM seemed to indicate, were hashers such as Dr. Death and her sidekick HeBitch, SuperSuction, Hoi Sin, Handcream, Brainey, and anyone else who hadn’t been bothered to turn out this Saturday.

The hash started 20 minutes late and was marked with the quickest ever hash crash in Hash History as the GM managed to trip over his shoelaces whilst getting into first gear. This was followed by an initial fruitless 20 minute run along a dry, dusty road (endlessly providing the gift of mirth for the locals) and ended at the first check in a dry dusty rice field. After searching fruitlessly for paper the crowd was pointed in the right direction by the hares and across yet another dry rice field and then through the upper Bagmati river for another endless run along another dry, dusty road which ended at the dry dusty second check. (THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT WAS THE CHECK UNDER THE TREE GM? WERE THERE ANY INCIDENTS YOU CAN REMEMBER?) (a: don't know. b: no - GM)

And then it was an uphill march reminiscent of the Death March of Bataan, which took place in the Philippines in 1942 and was later accounted as a Japanese war crime. The march, involving the forcible transfer of 75,000 American and Filipino prisoners of war captured by the Japanese in the Philippines from the Bataan peninsula to prison camps, was characterized by wide-ranging physical abuse and murder, and resulted in very high fatalities inflicted upon the prisoners and civilians along the route by the armed forces of the Empire of Japan. Beheadings, cutting of throats and casual shootings were the more common actions—compared to instances of bayonet stabbing, rape, disembowelment, rifle butt beating and a deliberate refusal to allow the prisoners food or water while keeping them continually marching for nearly a week in tropical heat.

Anyway you get the idea. This part of the hash was less fun than the Death March of Bataan. And that was the good news! The bad news was the hashers were taken within a few hundred metres of Changu Narayan, but at the last minute it skirted the temple which is named after the deity enshrined within. Sure, why stop and visit a temple which is one of the oldest Hindu temples of the valley, and is believed to be constructed in the 4th century when you can sit in a goat herd instead at yet another god-forsaken check? Situated atop a ridge to one side of the valley, the lavishly ornamented two-storied temple offers one of the finest examples of pagoda architecture. It is dedicated to the Hindu god Vishnu. Exquisite stone sculptures lie scattered around the courtyard, most notably images depicting different manifestations of Vishnu. Changu Narayan has been declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO. At least that is what the guide book says as none of the hashers certainly saw it.

But no, the hashers sat instead in the shadow of the Temple as H and her sister “Goat Groper” fondled baby goats and puppies. Still if it wasn’t for the pollution the hashers could have seen the beautiful white Himalayas to the north and the whole panaromic view of the Kathmandu valley. The steep green hills of pine did at least highlight the site’s beauty. And then we were off again, down the frickin hill, back across the dusty fields, forging yet again the river and back to where we came. “Ahhh, hashing doesn’t get any better than this”, thought more than one hasher at the end. (And you could probably get this paragraph into most Trashes - GM)

Actually all agreed the run was extremely good, well set by The Scholars and the weather was exquisite. The run lasted about 1 hour and forty five minutes and the walkers and runners all arrived back at the same time.

The GM then formed a circle (generic clause - GM) , suggested we start the Hash at 3 pm the next time and was loudly shouted down. The GM picked out Rabi’s Heroini as the victim for today and she ended up getting the Hashit.

It was then suggested the Hash help in the Nepal constitution writing process. This is what we came up with:

Suggested Constitution for Nepal as proposed by the Himalayan Hash House Harriers

We the People of Himalayan Hash House Harriers, in Order to form a more perfect Nepali Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution of Nepal. This year our people will bring forth a constitution, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, except for some groups and all women. (What about no VAT on beer then? GM)