Hash 1659, or more appropriately "HandKream's Revenge", had its origins in Hash 1657 where HK's anti-social behaviour escalated out of control. HK's failure to fill his luxurious 4WD with smelly Hashers left many in a state of rage and literally out in the cold. A show-trial was arranged for the following week where HK was found guilty of Anti-Hashing activities and high-level mismanagement. Soon after he was inaugurated as the Official HHHH taxidriver and pledged to redeem himself by setting the following week's Hash. A nervous laugh rippled around the circle as HK rubbed his hands together with glee.

Onto the Hash.

1659 was set a few kilometres beyond Chobhar by HK and DoMeSuMe, and it was a genuine ball-breaker. There were a few virgins including a representative from Amnesty International whose mission was to monitor the Hares. Returnees included Brainey from England, and Kimmo from Saunaland, and they looked happy to be back. The Hares promised a few surprises (or did they mean "prizes") for the FRBs who found red ribbons at the end of each false trail. DoMeSuMe announced that it was her birthday, she turned 21...again, and this increased the already positive vibe. From the On-In we went straight up, then straight down, then plateaued for a while before climbing for what seemed to be an eternity. It was actually 54mins to the first Holding Check. The run offered satisfying panoramic views of the Kathmandu Valley and briefly overlapped with the trail from 1654. The seasoned Hashers expected to charge up to the "white house" for an unbeatable perspective of the valley but were instead lead back down to the rice paddies. At this point we had <1km of well-earned downhill running to reach the On-In and sample the result of He-Bitch's latest attempt at making chocolate brownies. But we had more climbing in store and looped up and around the "white house mountain" which we had only just finished descending. The surprised and tortured expressions of his colleagues brought a smile to HK's face.  

Hash Specifics courtesy of HK's watch:
Total length was 9.5km without falses, and 10.5km with false trails.
800 meters ascending and descending.
Run time: approx 2hours for FRBs. The walking group arrived moments later.
Link to the Hash route
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=720470

All starters returned safely and were treated to a memorable circle. He-Bitch was in rare form as temp-GM and proved conclusively that chocolate brownies taste best when you remember to include chocolate. The red-ribbon bearers competed in a skolling race, won by He-Bitch, and all were awarded Hash shirts from the Hare's seemingly limitless private collection. DoMeSuMe performed the slowest down-down in living memory (we sung the song 3 times over before she finished!), but at least she kept it down. She then proudly accepted the Birthday Hashit, assisted by Doggy Style on pouring duties, and treated us all to her impression of a beer geyser. The virgins were punished for down-downing prematurely and were served a double which thankfully concluded uneventfully. Finally, I entered the circle as a leaver and announced my imminent exit from Kathmandu through the medium of poetry.

Often before publicly speaking
I like to partake in some social drinking

To use a well-worn cliche
My arrival in Nepal seems like only yesterday
I came to change the world you see
But again it is the world that has changed me

I hail from Oz and run with The Bullants
Whom most consider a pack of miscreants
But most have yet to meet the Himalayan Hash House Harriers
Admission to said club there are no barriers
Oh except to say that a playful spirit is required
And bring some muffins, beer, and knockers and you'll be much admired
 
I studied the style of the GM Potter
But he's better known as *#@$ing Rotter
And Acting GM He-Bitch
Say how is your eye glitch?
And Juergen aka Hand-Kream, of questionable character it would seem
Whom today laid a ball-breaking Hash with DoMeSuMe
But there are many more that will stay in my memory
 
Such as 1650 held in Dhulikhel
Which many likened to the fiery pits of Hell
Chocolate-free brownies were had in the pines of Godavari
and under-age drinking discouraged under the Pipal tree.
 
When called upon by Keeled to Hare, I did not hesitate
How high to get, I long did contemplate
With my Slimline Dick I vigourously did mass debate.
 
The paper laying at times made running problematic
But we escaped prosecution with a reason most diplomatic
"Some paper mismanagement is expected" adopt Finnish accent
Which the Hashers totally respected.
 
So I leave the Hash feeling truly inspired
To start one of my own, with The Bullants I have conspired.
Far and wide I will spread the name "hash"
And that concludes this week's Trash.

Thankyou to everybody that has made my stay in Kathmandu a truly memorable and enjoyable one. We will meet again. On-On.