A hash full of surprises

I was in Kuala Lumpur to offer moral support to Head Chopper and his mates indulging in that great spectator sport of a mathematics competition – one of the few things in this life less fascinating than a Rotter-run circle. Having established contact with the Damansara Hash via the internet, I called the Hare on arrival and was provided with a lift out to the website by a German Gent, name of Hans.

Surprise Number 1 – the promised one and a half hour journey out into the country only took 45 minutes.

So we hung around chatting to the slowly increasing number of hashers gathering in a very pleasant spot in sight of the expressway (in and around KL it appears impossible not to be in sight of an expressway).

Surprise Number 2 – they allow Australians on the run.

Eventually around 6.00 p.m. someone suddenly shouted “On-On” and we were off – no preliminaries, no Hare to explain how many checks there were, no GM to brief the virgins etc.

Surprise Number 3 – everyone broke into a gentle walk!

After about 200 metres the Hash Horn broke into a trot and I, and a couple of others followed suit. The run took us through palm plantations and a few ups and downs. Clearly the hash has no connections with the diplomatic community as the paper was large, hand torn rectangles, laid one at a time. A check was a bundle of them, usually dumped unceremoniously behind a tree. The trail was good, checks held everyone pretty well together. A lovely long downhill home run took us back to the On-In.

Surprise Number 4 – the beer truck wasn’t there

Apparently there had been a major gridlock in town because it rained, a number of the runners had been caught out and the beer truck was at least one hour away from the site. We made do with water melon and bananas from Hash Catering

Surprise Number 5 – on-site hash catering was to provide fish & chips, and very good it was indeed

Surprise number 6 – hashers made use of this interlude to shower and change; showers being jury rigged behind vehicles

Desultory conversation ensued and it looked like some of the pack were going to be in need of [deleted] anti-depressants when, to the accompaniment of feeble cheers, headlights were seen approaching and lo, the beer truck arrived. The hash swung quickly into motion, directing the driver to park in 3 different places in their desperation to get at the beer, then hurling beer and ice into barrels with remarkable speed, verging on desperation. Whilst we waited for the beers to cool, we had a warm one, and then:

Surprise Number 7 – a little portly Australian jumped up on a beer crate and called for hash hush. The assembled crowd, sitting around in motley groups on their designer picnic chairs, calmed and the Hares were called up onto the stage

Surprise Number 8 – they can’t afford down-down mugs – its cold Tiger straight from the neck!

Surprise Number 9 – they sing a different song for the Hares

So next, the first time visitor was called in, asked to explain what and why, and this time they sang more or less the right song. Mr. Wu was called up for some offence to a loud chorus of “Wu let the dogs out, Wu, Wu, Wu-Wu”, then that was it, or at least almost ……

Surprise Number 10 – the little portly Aussie wasn’t the GM. They don’t let the GM run the circle. (Gosh, what a wizzo idea!)

So then the GM was called in and made some entertaining but rambling tale about goodness knows what before things were handed over to the Ice Master. He called in some poor unfortunate who had managed to mis-read one of the direction arrows that they put up on the route to the run and the Hare for putting up mis-readable arrows, parked them on the ice and then proceeded to explain exactly what had gone wrong. Eventually they were allowed their down-downs (not surprisingly to a different song that I’d never even heard before) and all that remained was to feast on the fish, chips and beans and drink the remaining beer.

About 10.30 or so the last of the beer disappeared, Hans packed up his picnic chair and we followed a very helpful Harriette home.

Many thanks to Philip and Margaret for haring an excellent run, to Philip again for being very helpful in arranging the lift, to Hans for taking me there and back (and I hope you found that bar, Hans) and to the whole of the Damansara Hash for a very enjoyable evening and making me very welcome.

As for Petaling HHH Run 1406 on the Saturday, I did not make it on the basis of the advice given that it was well out of KL and would be a seriously long night out. I thought that I should, at some stage, see Head Chopper before we returned to Kathmandu.

Note that the Damansara Run 1000 will be coming up, by my calculation, at the end of April and should be a special do. Visitors from HHHH will be most welcome.